The Power Of Therapy For Adult Children Of Dysfunctional Families

Being a child in a dysfunctional family is a jarring, unstable experience. Unfortunately, the negative effects of such an upbringing can follow many of these children well into adulthood. Fortunately, the power of therapy can make a huge difference in improving the lives of adult children who experienced dysfunctional family households in their most formative years of life.

How can a therapist help an adult child of a dysfunctional family?

According to Best Life Behavioral Health, “If your parent(s) struggled with codependency, substance abuse, depression, anxiety, hoarding, intense conflict, emotional avoidance, narcissism, Borderline Personality Disorder, bipolar disorder, or other issues, you likely did not learn how to interact "normally" and often feel uncomfortable in certain situations despite how outwardly successful you may appear.” Because you had to share space with troubled or struggling adults in childhood, you likely embodied many of the traits you picked up due to those experiences and carried them with you into adulthood.

Fortunately, therapy can help children of dysfunctional families work through these negative experiences so they can let go and begin living life for themselves – not their dysfunctional parents. For example, a good therapist can…

1. Offer an impartial perspective on your unique experiences.

Often, an adult child’s experience of their dysfunctional family is incredibly insular – because the level of dysfunction is often hidden or masked, the only people who really know what is happening are the people living in the household. By talking with a good therapist about your experiences, you can have an impartial and uninvolved person’s take on the situation, which can expand your own perspective.

2. Help you revisit memories through a new lens.

When you reflect on past experiences with your dysfunctional family, you are likely only seeing it through a narrow lens: your own. Revisiting your childhood memories through the lens of a therapist can shed new light on these experiences and help you see them differently, which is huge for someone trying to break out of the grip their dysfunctional upbringing has on them.

3. Offer you specific advice and strategies to use in your particular situation.

Many therapists specialize in specific fields. For example, some therapists specialize in trauma, others specialize in anxiety and mood disorders….and some specialize in assisting adult children of dysfunctional families! Speaking with a therapist who specializes in dysfunctional families will guarantee that you’ll find sound, trustworthy advice from someone who really understands what your experience was like.

4. Help you develop good strategies for “unlearning” bad habits or behaviors you inherited from dysfunctional parents.

Many dysfunctional families exist in generational dysfunction, meaning their issues have been passed down through different generations. The same issues you experienced as a child were likely taught to your parent (or parents) by your grandparents, and so on. When these negative traits and habits are deeply ingrained in your persona and family history, you can benefit greatly from having a trained therapist help you identify and “unlearn” these habits and behaviors in favor of making better, healthier choices for yourself.

5. Assist with creating and setting healthy boundaries.

Learning how to set boundaries – especially new ones with dysfunctional family members – can be an intimidating and challenging process. Working on a game plan with a trained therapist can be extremely helpful when you are trying to negotiate more healthy boundaries between yourself and your dysfunctional family. A good therapist will help you determine your boundaries, practice setting them, and then offer support to ensure you’ll continue maintaining the boundary you set.