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Dysfunctional Family Roles
- Leah Frieday
- Apr 21
- 3 min read
Within a dysfunctional family, parents, adults, and children can each play specific types of roles that feed into unhealthy behaviors that cause the family unit to become dysfunctional. To better understand how this intricate set of dynamics works, consider these common dysfunctional family roles, as outlined by Psychology Today:
The Golden Child
This role is played by the child who never does wrong – a parent places them on a high pedestal early in life, and the child learns to seek satisfaction by pleasing them. As the “golden child” ages, they may find themselves struggling with finding happiness or success in themselves because they feel a deep need to find validation from external sources.
The “Patient”
This role is played by the person who seems to be the root cause of everyone’s problems within the family. For example, a family may collectively blame their issues on Jimmy, the brother with a drinking problem. However, the issues within the family’s dysfunction goes a lot deeper than Jimmy’s alcoholism – they all just find it simpler to blame everything on him as the identified “patient” who needs healing or curing to fix everything.
The Scapegoat or Black Sheep
This role is played by the child who doesn’t fit in with the rest of the family. Because they don’t act, look, or speak like the other family members, they are often treated as an outcast. Issues may be blamed on them, or they may even be ridiculed because they are an outlier compared to their parents or siblings.
The Lost or Invisible Child
This role is played by a child who has learned the value of making themselves small, quiet, and easy to miss. They learn early that being noticed is a bad thing within their dysfunctional household – for example, if they play with their toys too loudly, they may find themselves on the receiving end of a beating as punishment – so they do their very best to live life quietly and unnoticed.
The “Parentified” Child
This role is played by a child who was forced to assume the role of a caretaker or partner to another parent early in life. For example, they may find themselves responsible for various adult household tasks, such as buying groceries, taking care of younger siblings, or cooking family meals. They also may take on the emotional load of a partner for another parent, helping them with their issues and emotional conflicts.
The Enabler or Caretaker
This role is played by the person who does everything they can to make their household seem healthy and normal to everyone else on the outside of the family. For example, this person might create excuses for another family member’s behavior, make sure the bills are paid, keep the house and yard clean, and direct others’ attention elsewhere if questions arise. They want to seem normal on the outside so people do not begin asking questions and trying to investigate the truth within the family’s actual dysfunction.
The Mascot
This role is played by a member of the family who is talented at diffusing anger or redirecting conflict between others in the household. They may resort to humor or distraction to keep things feeling calm and light in the household. While these actions may not permanently solve the issues at the root of the family’s dysfunction, they can stop a lot of dysfunctional episodes from escalating into a more serious problem. Psychology Today explains that many actors and comedians identify with this dysfunctional family role.
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