6 Types Of Dysfunction Seen In Unhealthy Families

There are a variety of ways a family can become unhealthy and dysfunctional. Understanding some of the common types of dysfunction can help you better understand what they are and how these traits often intermingle with each other.

The “Golden Child” Mindset

VeryWell Mind explains that this particular type of dysfunction occurs when a parent chooses a “favorite” or “golden child” in the family and uses them as the top tier example for the other children to follow. By constantly comparing the other children to the “superior” child, they create an unhealthy and dysfunctional environment where one child may feel like they are receiving too much attention and the others feel inferior. This kind of dysfunction can also create a lot of resentment and hard feelings between all members of the family – especially between siblings.

A Lack of Boundaries

This kind of dysfunction occurs when there are no clear cut boundaries or basic respect within a family. For example, this can manifest by entering someone’s closed bedroom without knocking first, listening in on phone conversations, or digging through another family member’s belongings without them knowing. Because there is no basic respect for autonomy or privacy, members of the family may feel like they’re constantly being violated.

Secret Keeping

This kind of dysfunction routinely goes hand-in-hand with other bad behaviors. VeryWell Mind explains that this type of dysfunction occurs when a parent insists that different events and experiences that happen within the family or household are “secret,” so the child must not tell others – such as friends, teachers, neighbors, or extended family members – about what is going on within their immediate family’s household. The parent may allow these secrets to sound like a “fun game” being played between them and their children, but they are actually manipulating them to keep certain behaviors a secret.

Uncontrolled Addiction or Mental Illness

This type of dysfunction stems from an adult or parent in the household who is struggling with an addiction or mental illness issue. They aren’t receiving any kind of assistance, such as counseling, medication, or therapy – instead, their addiction or mental health issues are running unchecked and likely worsening. The other family members must learn how to live and operate around these issues, doing their best not to anger or disturb the adult who is struggling.

Impossibly High Expectations

This type of dysfunction happens in a few different ways, according to VeryWell Mind. Parents who set super-high expectations for their child – such as attending the very best schools, nailing every winning shot in a sports game, winning every competition, or scoring the highest grades – can create a lot of stress and dysfunction within the household, especially if the child fails to meet the very high expectation set forth by the adult. Similarly, parents who place an impossibly huge amount of responsibility on a child, such as expecting an older sibling to care for their younger siblings even though they are also still a young child themselves, can create a lot of dysfunction, too.

Abuse

One of the most common types of dysfunction seen in unhealthy families stems from abuse. There are a few ways abuse can unfold: it can be sexual, physical, emotional, verbal, or mental, as VeryWell Mind explains. Often, different types of abuse can happen concurrently. Someone who is being physically abused can also find themselves being emotionally manipulated by the same family member, for example. Abuse not only creates fear and discomfort in a household, but it also damages the sense of trust between family members, making the family unhealthy.

Resource:

https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-a-dysfunctional-family-5194681